I am really tired of feeling like I got robbed when I go to the salon. I need to get my nails done or fixed when I come in the salon. You know, a service, for which I pay after the services ARE RENDERED. Not BEFORE you paint my nails- That is bullshit. I have to tip you before you are done? AND you try to force me to use cash by charging a fee for debit card transactions? I am calling fucking BULLSHIT on that one. I mean really, if I tried to get paid for two weeks of work three days before payday, that shit would not wash, anywhere.
So here nail lady....I am tired of being held hostage. From now on you get cash- and a tip only when my nails are dry AFTER the fake sunlight/fan hits my nails for a indetermined amout of time. And don't think I don't know that little trick you pull when you are "looking" for change for a 20. I got you- I will bring my ones from the scrip club from now on!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Girl Scout Cookies
I have spent much of the last month in a funky place. Not feeling well....stupid abdominal pain. I feel tired from it all, but I think I am going to try and work my way through this. Maybe try to be more healthy, work out more. As I type this, all I can think about is chocolate pudding. In fact, I think I am going to get some right now. It is totally 60 calories and not as good as girl scout cookies. Speaking of those triffling hookers. How is it they have made cookies smaller and put them in smaller packages with out clearing it with me. What kind of bullshit is that. I spend good money on that shit and now I am getting 8 to a box. There are 5 people in my house all of whom will cut a bitch for one of those crack cookies. I think there should have been some sort of national voting before they ran with this new size/style. Or they should have asked me first. Now I want my the rest of my box, bitch!
Monday, January 25, 2010
I'm gettin tired of yo shit
My body is REALLY PISSING ME OFF. I have gone through about 8 different operations in the last 5 years. They seem to be all related to my reproductive parts. Minus my appendectomy this month. But I think it is still related some how. Seems it decided to grow out of it's normal shape and into my empty cavity where the reproductive organs USED to be. I can't prove it but I think it is my bodys revenge on me. Yea I am paranoid like that.
Anyway, I have been to the ER about 4 times this year for the nagging pain in my lower abdomen that never seems to want to take a break. I usually do not find any new information when I get outta the place. Most times it is some non descript diagnosis with a "follow up with your regular DR"
Today I had to go in again because of the agony from my lower abdomen. Knowing that I am going to get drugged and sent on my merry way, I decided to go anyway because I could not take it. This time I was ok with it because I know I have an appt with a speciaist in two weeks. So this time, I thought I would be glad to take the meds, as long as there is an end result I can live with. Amazingly, I did find out some new information. I still have my cervix. After 3 years of thinking I was competely with out said cervix I found out that sucker was still in there. That does not really change my outcome. I was still told to follow up, but was given enough meds not to have to come back before my appt with the specialist. But now I have new information about my body. I am not compeltely with out my woman parts. Score one for me....I think
Anyway, I have been to the ER about 4 times this year for the nagging pain in my lower abdomen that never seems to want to take a break. I usually do not find any new information when I get outta the place. Most times it is some non descript diagnosis with a "follow up with your regular DR"
Today I had to go in again because of the agony from my lower abdomen. Knowing that I am going to get drugged and sent on my merry way, I decided to go anyway because I could not take it. This time I was ok with it because I know I have an appt with a speciaist in two weeks. So this time, I thought I would be glad to take the meds, as long as there is an end result I can live with. Amazingly, I did find out some new information. I still have my cervix. After 3 years of thinking I was competely with out said cervix I found out that sucker was still in there. That does not really change my outcome. I was still told to follow up, but was given enough meds not to have to come back before my appt with the specialist. But now I have new information about my body. I am not compeltely with out my woman parts. Score one for me....I think
Saturday Night Live in Destin
Remember when this happened??
Saturday night was pretty much a freakin great time. I enjoyed hanging out with James-Josh-Joe-(and cute blonde who's name I forget) Sitting at the bar watching videos at Hard Rock drinking beer was great fun. Anytime I am yelling in public that "ROB ZOMBIE IS A FUCKING GENIUS" with people who agree with me is going to be a fantastic night. We hung there for a while and of course went to Fuds. Why? Because 10 dolla all you can drink is fantastic- All the better when you are around people that make you crack the fuck up.
James steadily got LOADED. You know how fun he gets when he is plastered. His whole mission was to get Josh loaded before the got on a plane at 9AM! Yea, back to the sand. So James had to get him wasted and himself along the way. James is buying shots for the band- cracking me up. I loved the hell out of Greg's headband- The light shining on Josh all night- was a riot. He kept saying he felt like Jesus. Which if you were there, you would have seen him act like he thought he was. Couple that with Greg kinda looking a bit like Jesus himself. A bachlorette party with a chick in gold who might of thought she should be a stripper. Man, what a funny night.
We get home at 11- yes- 11! We had to cause the girls were at the house. I am trying to get James in with out them noticing he is loaded. You know he wants to chat it up. So we go outside to let Bradley out. It is 1130 by now. Bradley wants to play, so James chases him. At this point it is not worth my time to try and stop James from injuring himself because he is beyond the point of reason. Bradley is fast now and pretty damn agile. So James is trying hard to catch him. ( Sober it is difficult enough because the dog is just FAST) So at one point James thinks he has the dog cornered- but not so fast…Bradley dodges, and wham- James flies head first into the fence. I am falling on the ground laughing now. I mean in HYSTERICS! James is of course ok. But I am cracking up. We finally all get into the house, and you know James wants to have sex. No come on. You just flew head first into the fence- obviously you are wasted. If that is not enough, the girls are out in the living room watching TV. Drunk people do not have quiet sex. EVER. Still he kept trying to convince me. Baby, I will be quiet- in the whisper only a drunk person can scream- I kept saying no cause he would pass out on me or something So he gives up and decides to shower. Which I beg him not to do because I am afraid he will fall down from drunkenness or the concussion he probably got from the fence. He will not listen to me though and showers. Luckily he makes it out- and proceeds to try to get some until he passes out a whopping 3 minutes later!
It was so funny! All I could do is laugh at him! He is a nut job, but I love him!
Saturday night was pretty much a freakin great time. I enjoyed hanging out with James-Josh-Joe-(and cute blonde who's name I forget) Sitting at the bar watching videos at Hard Rock drinking beer was great fun. Anytime I am yelling in public that "ROB ZOMBIE IS A FUCKING GENIUS" with people who agree with me is going to be a fantastic night. We hung there for a while and of course went to Fuds. Why? Because 10 dolla all you can drink is fantastic- All the better when you are around people that make you crack the fuck up.
James steadily got LOADED. You know how fun he gets when he is plastered. His whole mission was to get Josh loaded before the got on a plane at 9AM! Yea, back to the sand. So James had to get him wasted and himself along the way. James is buying shots for the band- cracking me up. I loved the hell out of Greg's headband- The light shining on Josh all night- was a riot. He kept saying he felt like Jesus. Which if you were there, you would have seen him act like he thought he was. Couple that with Greg kinda looking a bit like Jesus himself. A bachlorette party with a chick in gold who might of thought she should be a stripper. Man, what a funny night.
We get home at 11- yes- 11! We had to cause the girls were at the house. I am trying to get James in with out them noticing he is loaded. You know he wants to chat it up. So we go outside to let Bradley out. It is 1130 by now. Bradley wants to play, so James chases him. At this point it is not worth my time to try and stop James from injuring himself because he is beyond the point of reason. Bradley is fast now and pretty damn agile. So James is trying hard to catch him. ( Sober it is difficult enough because the dog is just FAST) So at one point James thinks he has the dog cornered- but not so fast…Bradley dodges, and wham- James flies head first into the fence. I am falling on the ground laughing now. I mean in HYSTERICS! James is of course ok. But I am cracking up. We finally all get into the house, and you know James wants to have sex. No come on. You just flew head first into the fence- obviously you are wasted. If that is not enough, the girls are out in the living room watching TV. Drunk people do not have quiet sex. EVER. Still he kept trying to convince me. Baby, I will be quiet- in the whisper only a drunk person can scream- I kept saying no cause he would pass out on me or something So he gives up and decides to shower. Which I beg him not to do because I am afraid he will fall down from drunkenness or the concussion he probably got from the fence. He will not listen to me though and showers. Luckily he makes it out- and proceeds to try to get some until he passes out a whopping 3 minutes later!
It was so funny! All I could do is laugh at him! He is a nut job, but I love him!
Vodka Anyone?
There is something you need to know, in the event that you do not have this information, allow me to enlighten you…..
Children have a boundless sense of entitlement. When they are in the womb, they take every bit of nutrient they need from your body. If you are lacking a vitamin, they will take it from your bones. Once they are born, they will suck the life right out of your tit, only to shit and vomit it back up on you later. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that will not change as they get older. Sure they don't feed from your tit literally but they sure will suck the hell out of your bank account. The vomiting thing still happens occasionally when it is at the worst time possible. Say when you are scheduled to go out of town or you have a birthday.
When they get older they want the newest and the best of all things, only to cast it aside later as if it were worthless. Then there you are scratching your head wondering what the hell you bought that useless piece of crap for anyway….Ten days later, they will want the newest version of the "nothing" they already have. Looking for more ways to spend your money, they will not even offer up a thank you for your efforts making dinner. Chances are they will say, "Chicken again? Can we go out to eat?"
When they are teens, they spend their time trying to grow up and get away from you. Make no mistake, that little thing that sucked the nutrients out of your body, will continue to age you well past your good years. You will spend countless nights awake wondering if you are doing the right thing, making the right choices, giving too much/not enough. It is a horror- There is no doubt that there will be screams and tears, and that is YOUR part. No matter how different you swore you would be, or how cool you think you are, you will be the biggest dork your child has ever seen. No amount of hip speak or cool gadgets will make you anything less than an embarrassment to your child.
With all this said, you may think I have the worst children in the world. Well that is far from the case. They are magnificent, intelligent, loving and kind-when they are asleep! I kid, I kid. They all have the moments, when they look at you, and you know that you are blessed to have them in your life! I will tell you something though, the peace corps got it wrong. Parenthood is the toughest job you will ever love. So here's to my fellow parents feeling my pain.
So in closing- I will steal a line from a great man, "Every one hold your drinks up high and say- FUCK PARENTHOOD!"
Children have a boundless sense of entitlement. When they are in the womb, they take every bit of nutrient they need from your body. If you are lacking a vitamin, they will take it from your bones. Once they are born, they will suck the life right out of your tit, only to shit and vomit it back up on you later. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that will not change as they get older. Sure they don't feed from your tit literally but they sure will suck the hell out of your bank account. The vomiting thing still happens occasionally when it is at the worst time possible. Say when you are scheduled to go out of town or you have a birthday.
When they get older they want the newest and the best of all things, only to cast it aside later as if it were worthless. Then there you are scratching your head wondering what the hell you bought that useless piece of crap for anyway….Ten days later, they will want the newest version of the "nothing" they already have. Looking for more ways to spend your money, they will not even offer up a thank you for your efforts making dinner. Chances are they will say, "Chicken again? Can we go out to eat?"
When they are teens, they spend their time trying to grow up and get away from you. Make no mistake, that little thing that sucked the nutrients out of your body, will continue to age you well past your good years. You will spend countless nights awake wondering if you are doing the right thing, making the right choices, giving too much/not enough. It is a horror- There is no doubt that there will be screams and tears, and that is YOUR part. No matter how different you swore you would be, or how cool you think you are, you will be the biggest dork your child has ever seen. No amount of hip speak or cool gadgets will make you anything less than an embarrassment to your child.
With all this said, you may think I have the worst children in the world. Well that is far from the case. They are magnificent, intelligent, loving and kind-when they are asleep! I kid, I kid. They all have the moments, when they look at you, and you know that you are blessed to have them in your life! I will tell you something though, the peace corps got it wrong. Parenthood is the toughest job you will ever love. So here's to my fellow parents feeling my pain.
So in closing- I will steal a line from a great man, "Every one hold your drinks up high and say- FUCK PARENTHOOD!"
Freedom, Love
Sometimes death brings sorrow, Sometimes it brings freedom
Freedom to grow, Freedom to be
An exhale of that last breath can dispel the anger with in
As I float through my freedom it becomes clearer
There are times that you are to be
Times that you are not
It is not for a person to decide his place in this world
Rather, the world to decide your place
I am floating – enjoying the breeze
loving the pace- accepting my place
Becoming the better me
So I can love the better you
Acceptance is the ultimate opportunity
Love who you accept
Freedom is a blessing I wish all
Freedom to grow, Freedom to be
An exhale of that last breath can dispel the anger with in
As I float through my freedom it becomes clearer
There are times that you are to be
Times that you are not
It is not for a person to decide his place in this world
Rather, the world to decide your place
I am floating – enjoying the breeze
loving the pace- accepting my place
Becoming the better me
So I can love the better you
Acceptance is the ultimate opportunity
Love who you accept
Freedom is a blessing I wish all
Well..
You knew me at a time
When I was lonesome, Afraid
I needed your ear, you insights
We bonded over life - problems- men
Spent hours on end hashing and rehashing our dreams
Trying to find the anwsers to all the worlds problems
Looking for peace in a an 12 oz bottle and a pack of smokes
In the many moons since, problems have faded- time
has healed wounds, spiritual growth suppassed pettiness
Forgivness gave way to healing now we are in different places
There is more to life than petty fights-
The good times always outweigh the bad
When I think back to my time on this planet
I will always remember the brilliant nights
When I was lonesome, Afraid
I needed your ear, you insights
We bonded over life - problems- men
Spent hours on end hashing and rehashing our dreams
Trying to find the anwsers to all the worlds problems
Looking for peace in a an 12 oz bottle and a pack of smokes
In the many moons since, problems have faded- time
has healed wounds, spiritual growth suppassed pettiness
Forgivness gave way to healing now we are in different places
There is more to life than petty fights-
The good times always outweigh the bad
When I think back to my time on this planet
I will always remember the brilliant nights
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