Something needs to change.

I have been avoiding posting for quite some time. I really don't have anything positive to say. Whatever adhesions/female problems related to my previous ENDO that have been going on have really taken a toll on me. It is exhausting both physically and mentally. I know I don't have problems as severe as some people do. But my entire life has been effected by this. I feel so sad that I am not able to do normal things. That I can't exercise and I feel so out of shape. I am so depressed that I am not able to do fun things with my family. A good day is getting out of the house for a few hours and NOT feeling like the pain is going to kill me. I have pain medication and sometimes it works. Lately most of the time it just takes the edge off and I have to lay under my heating pad savior. I can't keep this face on for much longer. I am jealous and getting bitter that my life is confined to my house. Then I feel guilty that my family is so kind to me that they want to adjust plans to try and accommodate me. Especially when most of the time I ruin all outings. I don't want to fall down this hole, but I don't know how much longer I can hang on. I just really need something to give...