Monday, January 25, 2010

Teach your kids everything before they are 13

Considering the fact that I am a younger mom, I am not very cool. I mean I don't let my kids stay up on the computer or text all night on a school night, I give them a curfew, I make their boyfriends/girlfriends hang out with them in a public part of the house, and I of all things must know where they are when they are not with me.

Worst of all- I want better for them. Take this into consideration.

My daughter (16) has been in a "relationship" with a boy we will call DB for about 9 months. In those 9 months they have broken up 5 times. She cries nearly every day. She has lost friends over this relationship. Mainly because her taking her focus off of him makes them fight. He is controlling and manipulating. This behavior has changed my sweet tender hearted daughter into a full on raging teen girl filled with angst and boarder line stalker behavior. Not that I have been above stalking and busting into a boyfriends email when I was in my 20's, but again, we want better for her. I want her NOT to be needy and insecure! Cue me spending months wasting my time trying to point out how unhealthy the relationship is. Cue her ignoring me and feeling oppressed.

In the last two months it has gotten completely out of control. We fight with her every day and she gets grounded consistently. Then the clouds parted about two weeks ago. She realized, or at least admitted to me that I was right about the relationship, his manipulations, and that she was scared because he was trying to make everyone think he got wronged her reputation would be damaged. Though I wanted to punch DB in the face, and do a victory dance cause she said I was right, I did not. I simply told her that she should trust that the people that knew her would know better and that no matter what she did, he was going to think what he wanted. She seemed on a mission to teach him that he can not treat people that way. Ever the handyman that girl.

Anyway, on to today. She has spend nearly every fucking minute texting this kid. Like she can not breathe with out some kind of contact. I WANT TO SHAKE HER LIKE A BABY. But I can't. I get so frustrated that I take her cereal bowl from her and slam it on the counter...yea that will teach her. I know full well that this strong willed small person resembling my daughter will do as she pleases. (where the hell does she get that from?) In the end all I can do Is let her be who she is and hope I taught her something that stuck BEFORE she turned 13.

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